baci and bears

I’ve consumed alcohol everyday since April 25th.. and before that like almost everyday. NO BUENO. Not healthy. I mean one of the days was literally a sip of Greg’s wine but…  I promise to not drink until Anguilla this Thursday :)

Oh hey readers! So I fell of the face of the earth because I needed to find a new home to live in. Shockingly, not being homeless was more important to me than blogging. Luckily I found a place and signed a lease yesterday!! Long story short and timeline of the past two weeks:

• I drunkenly saw roach crawling in my workout clothes that were hanging on my bathroom doorknob. I drowned it in roach spray and threw it in my hallway as a “LOOK NEIGHBORS THIS IS GROSSSS”
• Three days later on April 23rd I saw…. the beast. It was high off the ground and freaked.me.out. It was just cruiiisinnggg around my bathroom. I don’t even know if the spray hit it but it must have because 15 minutes later and on the phone with Greg I hopping onto my toilet roach spray in hand and peeked around only to find it DEAD upside down in my tub EWWWWWWWWW and that is when I lost my shit. Lovely boyfriend of mine took action and said you need to move and email your landlord that you want out June 1 or June 15 and you can’t deal with this anymore. SENT (with photos). Got on the phone with Court for moral support and 20 min later disposed of dead disgustingly huge roach. 
• 2am landlord said she completely understands and that is fine. 
• WHAT?!?! OMG I HAVE TO MOVE AND FIND A PLACE BLAHHHHHH
• Saw studio in Jenna’s building at 18th and 2nd. Loved it but it was on the ground floor and the buzzer was really annoying. I had an emotional breakdown where I couldn’t stop crying for two days. Boyfriend of the year took care of everything and tears finally dried. 
• 18 and 1st- thanks girls for not responding to my thank you email or follow up!
• Park ave girls- 24 and annoying and no window
• Saw studio on 21st or something and 3rd and actually applied. I fell in love with the roof and the windows. Then realized it was retarded to pay so much and the studio was smaller than mine. Awesome. 
• 26th and 7th fancy highrise- amazing room. blah location. nice girl. luxury life. she was moving in with bf in sept= me homeless again
• 21 and 8th- persian jew clique..teeny room next to  living room where girl “watches a lot of tv”
• 24th and 9th- ohh this was funnnyyyy. Their email back creeped me out. There was an excessive amount of smileys. Went to see it anyway and as I was approaching the door I immediately thought “omg they are going to murder me”. I kid you not. For the first time I was just thinking about how this could end horrificly. These randos letting me into their home/death trap. Pretty girl opens the door.. small girl hiding behidn the door peeking out… I enter. Right away they walk me into the room and I was honestly thinking that they were going to close it behind me and kill me. Thinking all of this led to me acting super awkward. so they didn’t kill me… small girl behind door acutally went to Capo. The weird part was she said “did you grow up in CA?… did you go to Capo?… omg were you on the pep squad?… I knew it!! I remember your face from a picture I was a freshman when you were a senior!” OH okay cool…. pretty girl was like “ya soooooooo I say I do advertising but I actually don’t. I model. I just feel weird saying that online. 
• Finally saw studio on 17th between 7th and 8th where my friend lives! I’ve known about this since a few months ago during my last roach freak out. It took a week or so for the broker to figure out which apt and to get the keys to show. Fell in love. Courtyard. A little bigger than mine. Roach free (supposedly and I really believe that anything is better than my current hell hole). This is the apartment I signed the lease for!! 
• After posting “I’ll be homeless” on facebook so many friends reached out! thanks guys!! Went and saw George’s neighbor’s place. It’s a beautiful apartment. But they had “a really bad mouse problem in the fall.” AWESOME. and the room was tiny. I then realized how the HELL am I going to fit my studio into a box?

I am so over this process it’s hard to even be excited. This process made me HATE New York City… which made me really sad. It made me really sad to think that roaches were driving me out of my cute west village studio… so every time I entered my cute little studio after seeing these teeny rooms full of strangers I would just cry. An exhausting amount of tears later I have a new place to live. And I won’t be spending more money than I currently am which makes me really happy. So ya I guess I am really excited to leave roach land. YOU WIN ROACHES LAJKFWEKLJLASDKJFL I’m excited for a courtyard. I’m excited for 2 windows. I’m excited for a little bigger kitchen. I’m excited for 2 closets. I’m excited for potential couch. I’m excited for potential mini kitchen table. I’m excited to not live in a coop with miserable people. 

yay. the end. 

rude person: “Hi can I speak to the business owner?”

calls that start like this are ALWAYS spam

me: “they are unavailable at the moment.. can I ask what it’s regarding?”

rp: “I want to talk to the business owner”

me: “well I’m the office manager… can I help?”

rp: “If I wanted to talk to the manager bitch I wouldn’t have asked for the owner”

bad karma!